KKN
by unknowin person
Summary: A man from our world comes to the Naruto universe and all is not what it seems... Dark Naruto
1. Where Am I?

Same old way:

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Wooah! What the hell is happening?" a man's voice yelled. He felt himself falling, all in darkness. He landed with a thud. It felt like he had fallen from a great height, but he felt no pain as he brushed himself off.

"Where am I?"

His eyes turned upwards to locate the origin of his descent, only to be stung by newly-visible sunlight. After his eyes adjusted he opened them to find himself inside a township. The man heard people all around him, their cries somehow familiar. Sales people asking passer bys to buy their fresh fruits and vegetables, cooked food and inns calling to traveller's to rest their heads for a night.

Why did these voices sound like he had heard them before, he thought?

None of the people bothered the man as he looked around the township's buildings. He was positive that he was still in Japan, but this town surrounded by forests wasn't any place he had been before. Then he saw high cliffs above the village. Strange shapes were carved into the rock formation he waited for the sun rays to subside then he was speechless. He touched the ground and it felt real. He pinched his cheek and it hurt. The man stared in bewilderment sure enough he was looking at konoha's Hokage monument. First, Second, Third and Fourth. They were all there, he squinted rubbed his eyes, looked again and called out loudly, "What!?"

Another person in this situation might have fainted from shock, but the man just laughed oddly and talked to himself.

"There must be some explanation! I'm not going to be driven to madness, although my editor and assistants think I've gone there already."

'Calm down and think; what's the last thing I remember? I was at my desk note taking, sketching, working on the Namefor that damn editor and then… I don't know'

The man walked along a street 'who would I bump into? Would they know me?' he thought anxiously

As he walked along an alleyway he noticed missing posters

'**Lost: pet cat called Tora. Genin sent, but found no trace. Reward offered'**

There were posters of more than a dozen animals and several villagers.

"Hello there!" The man jumped as a voice boomed from behind him. "Yes", continued the voice, "a lot of mysterious goings-on lately. I'm a policeman, so I should be looking for these villagers. But who knows where disappearing people go to, eh? Maybe they are just inconsiderate. Do you know anything about these things? Officer Jiraiya's my name"

The man's eyes widened and he had trouble getting his breath back. This couldn't be possible. "Jiraiya of the sennin?"

Jiraiya laughed heartily. "Yep! I don't use that name now, though. And who would you be, stranger?"

The man paused for a moment obviously he wasn't recognised he could use any name he wanted

"Himura Kenshin" the man decided to give an anime name instead there may not any harm in using his real name but just to be on the safe side…

"So Jiraiya san, I don't really know this village very well seeing as you're a member of the police force and all, maybe you can tell me of some good places to eat and sightsee?"

"Well, I suppose that I can do"

As they walked, the so called kenshin felt something was off about Jiraiya

"Hey I heard this village has nice hot springs. They're meant to really relax your muscles"

"Oh that's an idea, I've got some spare time how about we go there together"

They went inside the hot springs the man looked through a hole once inside looking into the woman's baths expecting Jiraiya to do the same

"What do you think you are doing? That is despicable, how dare you do that in my presence!"

So called kenshin was taken aback by Jiraiya's outburst. He would have thought he would join in

"Oh it's a good sight, you don't know what you're missing good for your research"

"My research?"

"Yes, aren't you a writer who writes about well… You know"

"Huh, I think you may have me…"

The man interrupted Jiraiya mid sentence "Think of this line in the book 'He threw her on the bed with brutal force and huskily whispered sexual threats into her ear, which made them both tingle'" he said in a menacing tone

"How dare you! I am a happily married gentleman!"

"Married! To whom?"

"Tusande, we have three kids"

"You're married to Tusande the one with the big jugs? Oh man doing it must be a blast, watch your eyes though. Boing, boing" the man said making large breast gestures with his hands

"Damn you!"

The man felt the punch, somewhat after realising he was flying out of the hot springs. He went a fair distance coming into a felid, landing on his head knocking him unconscious.

He woke up a few hours later the sun had set he checked himself over

"Huh no bruising, did that really happen? Hmmm" he shrugged "must've nothing happened"

He got up and began to make his way through a forest clearing, which would lead him back towards the village. It had gotten dark quickly he was just navigating his way through when he heard

"Naruto, why did you take the scroll?"

"Mizuki Sensei told me about the scroll and this place I pass now, right?"

'I'm in the first chapter? Impossible!' thought the man. He rushed to the scene making no noise and hid in the shrubs, watching it all unfold thinking he knew what was to take place line by line, scene by scene.

"That's why everyone hates you." Mizuki roared "you're the Nine Tails Demon fox that attacked the village"

The man looked towards Naruto to see the shocked look on his face but instead he was greeted with a look of boredom?

"Awww" Naruto whined, "I already knew that, and here I am getting all pumped up thinking you were going to tell me something interesting"

The so called kenshin was shocked 'what is this?'

"Don't mind it eh? You damn demon!"

"No I don't mind it at all actually. Kyuubi and I are best friends" Naruto said in a chilly tone

"Best friends? Die you grotesque excuse for a human child!"

Mizuki pulled out a shuriken and hurled it at Naruto at a ferocious speed. Having only a second to act Naruto grabbed the injured Ikura and used him as a shield killing him

"Demon, rotten demon!" Mizuki called

"He was going to die from the injury anyway. May as well speed up the process"

The man covered his mouth with a hand his eyes were wide with shock, only one thought was going through his head 'what the fuck, what the fuck'

"You Bastard Demon"

"Yes that's right. I only played the part of class clown and a boy bullied by the villagers for housing Kyuubi. But, in reality I know all there is to know about being a killer" Naruto ended his sentence with the same cold tone, he then had a homicidal grin spread across his face

"Hmmm, what should I do first Mizuki Sensei? Should I rip out your lungs, Perhaps your heart? He, he, he, your brains will look nice splattered against all of these trees"

Mizuki trembled at the realisation of the situation that he was in. Naruto was excited, aching for a kill. He towered over the prostrated Mizuki but then he put his hands up to his head in frustration

"No, no, no I can't kill him" Naruto screeched

Mizuki sat still, was Kyuubi controlling this child? And was the child trying to regain control?

"With this kunai" Naruto continued "It's not sharp enough, I do want his insides on the outside after all!"

A strange sound was heard it was in between a growl and a hungry stomach rumble. Naruto looked down at his stomach

"Yes Kyu, I know you're hungry but we have to skin him first"

Mizuki's last terrified thought was 'He can talk to it?'

The man, so-called kenshin, clasped his hands over his mouth to keep from making a sound, as he saw Kyuubi charka coming out of Naruto. Mizuki died instantly as his heart got ripped out. The man closed his eyes tightly but he could still hear the frightening sounds of an animalistic feeding frenzy.

**Note**: End of chapter one. Like it, hate it? Give me your comments! I'm going to reveal the true identity of our mystery guest in next chap! I've left some clues so if you've figured out whom it is, please don't ruin the fun for me. ^ ^


	2. The Hunt

Kyuubi Naruto had finished his Mizuki dinner. The so-called Kenshin watched in horror. Naruto looked up, the area around his mouth, lips, chin and cheeks covered in blood. He picked out bits of bone that were stuck between his teeth.

"Come on out. I know someone else is here", he called. The man tensed up. He didn't make a sound, he dared not move even one inch. Naruto sniffed the air. "Oh well, with my heightened senses I can smell your scent. You must've been watching the whole thing because you're stinky with cold sweat. I'll let you go for now. I've got to clean myself up, but when tomorrow comes, I'll hunt you down".

Naruto disappeared leaving behind Ikura's body. He had taken all evidence of Mizuki with him not a trace was left.

'Cleaver, this would explain all the missing posters' Kenshin thought.

When his nerves settled down he got back into town and rushed to a still open shop

"Quick I need something for my girlfriend," he told the shopkeeper.

It would be his only defence, well that and if Naruto didn't get a good look at him. He left the shop grumbling that it was expensive but it would be worth it. Strangely all his current day cash had converted itself into the money which the Naruto world used.

He made a last minute check in at an inn. He sat inside his room analysing the situation.

"Jiraiya's not a pervert… ok, I am here in the Naruto world… alrighty, and Naruto is a cannibal… I've gone insane! He hunched over and beat his fist into the carpet laughing manically 'Oh boy, if I tell the assistants about this dream they'll have a field day'

Exhausted from the events of the night the man collapsed on the bed.

The man woke up early in the morning expecting to have fallen asleep at his desk, but no he was at an inn… which he checked into late last night… after he came back from the forest… Where he saw Naruto EAT Mizuki!

He ran to the window and there was still the Hokage monument, then the threat from last night resurfaced itself.

In a rush he got dressed. "I'm not goanna be hunted down and eaten… fuck that!"

He got out the thing he brought last night and sprayed himself "desperate times call for desperate measures"

There was a knock at the door "Room service"

The man opened the door as he spoke "I didn't order any…thing"

'Kakashi!' the man thought 'He's an inn delivery guy?' Kakashi still had his mask on

"Don't worry it's no extra charge. It's been paid for" Kakashi said

It was a round tray with a steel lid hiding the contents. the man cautiously lifted up the lid. On the tray was a severed human finger! There was a note:

**You can run**

**You can't hide**

**You can smell like white plum perfume,**

**But you can't outwit a fox's nose**

**The hunt begins**

The man bolted. He didn't just run he bolted, jumping out the window because the door wouldn't be quick enough. He tore down the street so fast a cloud of dust trailed behind him.

"My little friend always makes them run" Kakashi said to himself.

Kenshin (or whomever he was) headed to the shopping district. He hid inside a clothing store he started to gather his thoughts while pretending to browse.

'Kakashi is in cahoots with the psycho Naruto? What the hell is happening here? Why aren't I at my desk? Calm down just think of the situation at hand. Boy I'll never have what I had for dinner last night ever again. What did I have for dinner? I must be going senile!

He knew he wasn't that old but, he was willing to consider anything for why he was here.

"Excuse me"

A voice snapped the man out of his thoughts. He turned around to see Sasuke

"Yes" he casually asked,

"I have been assigned to give this to you"

Sasuke handed him a folded piece of paper then left, the man took a deep breath and opened it.

**Run, run and cling**

**To running.**

**Run because staying still is useless.**

**Found any interesting items of clothing**

**to wear in the shop that you're in?**

'Shit, he knows where I am!'

The man fled the shop keeping a lookout for a blonde haired boy dressed in 'kill me orange'

He went towards the village market he saw stalls of people selling fresh fish. The fishy stench was rotten, wind pushing the smell in all directions. He leaned against a post thinking he may be safe for a bit

"Hello sorry to burst your bubble but my friend can track a single scent. Even around the pong of fish"

The man looked to see Kakashi he was smiling. Even though he had a mask Kenshin could see it in his eyes. The eye smile

"I'd calculate that you have about ten seconds to run before HE arrives" Kakashi said

"Well then, I had better vamoose" Kenshin said in a semi panicked tone.

Kakashi grinned under his mask and said in almost a whisper "Well you'd better be moving quickly. Fox meat" then he turned his head and said to no one in particular "Ah, hello Naruto"

The man eeped, then he ran psyched out adrenalin pumping through his body charged with the rush of pure fear. He saw an open man-hole for the village sewer.

He held his nose and jumped calling "Desperate times call for desperate measures!"

Splash

Kakashi stood at a distance "Well that was some desperation"

The man landed in stinky, grimy, mucky sewer filth. He stood up covered head to toe with viscose ooze he pumped a fist into the air

"Yeah! You demented cannibal! See if you can smell me now! I think that I can outwit your nose down here. Come and get me maybe you might even like the taste of me, I've added extra flavourings for you aren't I generous? I suppose you may like me cooked? Well, let me prepare myself for the grill, I'll just stay here and marinate myself for a while!"

Kakashi looked at his watch hearing the man's rant. 'Only two hours since the hunt began and already he has slipped into madness. He's lasted longer than others though'

Kenshin slouched around in the sewers for about an hour then he found an opening and climbed out he found himself an in alley then he saw the blonde mop approaching. He slipped into an alcove along the side of a building whispering under his breath 'please don't let him find me, don't let him find me'

"Hello Kenshin. Or should I say Kishimoto Masashi?" Naruto said leaning his elbow against the brick wall

Dun dun dunnn!

'He knows who I am? Where is this music coming from?' Kishi looks around to see a choir

"Where did you guys pop out from?"

"We're the village choir we always practice here. Naruto's so evil, he paints our atmosphere"

Dun dun dunnn!

"Will you stop that!"

This Naruto was definitely different. He wasn't wearing orange, he was dressed completely in black.

'Oh great. What a way to die, about to be killed off by my own creation. But how the hell is this even possible? I'll be the laughing stock of shounen jump! And Tite Kubo would have a party!'

Naruto had a deranged grin on his face he held his nose "peeyou, you crawl around in sewers often?"

"Only when I'm trying to escape from a psychotic cannibal" Kishi hissed,

Naruto snorted "And that would be me. I'm not going to eat you I was just messing with you" even though he wasn't smiling he seemed amused. He patted his stomach,

"Still full from last night, who knew that Mizuki would make such a great meal!"

Kishimoto resisted the urge to puke but, with the mental images from last night going through his mind he failed.

He bended over as a stream of lumpy vomit hosed out.

"Just messing with me?" he asked hoarsely

"Yeah, I haven't really been serious about hunting you at all. If I was you would've been dead before you woke up this morning. I just wanted to fool around, I put Kakashi inside the inn early this morning to give you Mizuki's finger. Then he followed you around all day. We communicated through radios while I sat on the top of my Father's stone head drinking martinis"

'Hah, so he knows the fourth is his father. Wait, he was drinking martinis on his head... that's so disrespectful, this guy is unbelievable!'

"You're kind of alright" 'apart from being a cannibal' "but you're a little out of your tree. You're not the character I made and Jiraiya isn't a pervert how so?"

"This world is the alternative reality. I think… In actuality, I must be your character's desire, what he really wants to be" Naruto guessed.

Kishi remembered the scene from last night, Naruto tearing into Mizuki and pulling off his limbs hungrily chomping.

He shuddered. "No. nope I don't think so"

He wondered how else he was different so he asked questions

"Do you like pranks?"

"I used to but, it got boring after a while so now I do something else for fun"

"What would that be?"

A less than sane grin spread across Naruto's face. Kishi felt as though he would regret asking that

"You'll find out soon enough. By the way, thanks for Kyuubi I'm absolutely loving the company. We have the same goal. Destroy Everything" Naruto said in a darkened tone his eyes were very crazy looking.

'Ohh, dear'

"Come Kishimoto san, I have many things to show you"

A violent shiver went down Kishi's spine he did not like the tone that Naruto used at all.


	3. More Eating

: Hi, I've decided that to do disclaimers on here is useless, because the site is called fan fiction. As in, "fiction by fans". The creators wouldn't bother looking at sites like these anyway…I decided to do this one though, for a joke.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kishimoto Masashi! I'm just going to borrow him for a while and put him through the ringer. Why? Cause it's fun, and I like to do fun things.

Previously on **Konoha Kishimoto's Nightmare**: "Me and Kyuubi have the same goal: destroy everything"

'Oh dear'

"Come, I have many things to show you"

Kishi followed Naruto as he began to walk. He kept alert, just in case.

"First thing's first Kishi-san," Naruto said. Kishi looked at him in puzzlement. Naruto held his nose as he said, "You need a shower".

Kishimoto looked down with slight embarrassment, as he realised he was still covered in drying sewer slush.

They went to the hot springs, where Kishi thought about how he was here just after he had crash-landed into this loony bin of insanity. They relaxed while Kishi's clothes were to be washed. To start a conversation, Kishi began to ask more questions.

"What do you dream of?"

Naruto pulled a face. "What a stupid question! Hmm, dreams… I dream of blood red trickling down against skin, and the look in my victim's eyes just before I make the lovely color come out."

Kishi hid his nervous gulp with a cough. Not the answer he had been expecting, how long would he live for?

"Would you want to be Hokage?"

"Now that is interesting," Naruto said, his voice showing excitement. "Everyone can be my slaves, and heads will roll if it's necessary"

"Heads roll?" Kishi asked.

"That's right. What does a head do when detached from the body? It falls to the ground and rolls around, perhaps giving the sight of a beautiful shower"

Kishimoto pointed at Naruto in accusation. "You're a LUNATIC!"

Naruto shrugged, "You asked."

They were interrupted by the sound of a meow. They looked over towards the entrance to the bath to see a cat had wandered in.

"All this talk of red is making me itchy. I can almost see the blood"

'He's not going to…'

Kishi didn't even see it. Naruto had shot out of the water like a missile. and caught the cat in one swoop. Kishi only knew what had happened when it let out a howling screech. The small animal's blood sprayed, slashing against the concrete wall. Naruto was wide eyed, having a rush. "Beautiful", he said in an orgasmic tone.

"What was that noise?" A voice called. Naruto swore under his breath, and then he swallowed hard.

"Get here now, Kishimoto!"

His tone was not to be fucked with.

Kishi approached cautiously. When he came near, Naruto punched him into the ground.

"Wha…" Kishi yelled in shook.

The door quickly slid open. "What's going on in here?" The bathhouse keeper demanded as he walked in. Naruto put a stupid look on his face, and rubbed hand behind his head.

"Hey, sorry old man. We were having a little disagreement"

"Well, clean up that blood, and fix up your friend's nose."

For a split second Kishimoto could see Naruto – his Naruto, not the psychotic mess he was now acquainted with.

"Alright we'll leave soon," Naruto said as the keeper left.

'My nose?'

Kishi looked at his reflection. Naruto had punched him so hard that both of his nostrils were bleeding.

'He's broken my nose. The fucker's broken my nose!'

"I haven't broken your nose. To do that I would have punched slightly harder. I needed to make it look like I had, to match the amount of blood"

Kishi cringed inwardly; there was a bang on the door.

"Excuse me Himura-san. Your clothes are done."

"Let's go", Naruto said.

They changed into their clothes, and went back out onto the street. A bit of dust found its way into Naruto's throat. He coughed and flakes of hair came out, and Kishi caught one.

"Cat's hair? You didn't!"

"Kyu wanted a snack. Besides, that body had to disappear" Naruto said in a ominous tone. Kishimoto mourned for a moment in silence for the cat which had met its unfortunate end.

A loud shout echoed. "Oi, pervert san!"

"Humn?", they said as they both turned in surprise.

"You there, I thought I had punched you out of town!" Jiraiya said as he hastily approached.

'So, I didn't imagine it. What the hell happened?'

"Oh, Jiraiya-san was it? Sorry about before, it was my mistake, but in all honesty I think you would make a great writer of those things. Just imagine it: He kissed her hungrily as he dragged her toward the bed…" Kishi began.

"How dare you. I would never write about that sort of thing I am a… Oh, hello Naruto. I'd best be going now"

Jiraiya left the scene quicker than he had charged into it. 'Fear gives men wings'

Kishi eyed Naruto suspiciously. Kakashi, Sasuke and now Jiraiya. Who else was answerable to him? Naruto met his stare and smirked.

"You seem to have caught on. As long as they do as I say, there will be no trouble."

"You aren't the character I made at all!" Kishi declared horrified.

"Of course not. I thought I made it clear already."

As they went along, Kishi heard villagers whisper.

"Demon!"

"That's the one. He must be responsible for the disappearances, I hear they only happen at night"

Then a group of six disgruntled villagers approached, armed with weapons.

Naruto sighed, "So what do you want?"

They looked at Kishimoto. "Are you with him?" their leader asked.

Kishi looked at Naruto and shrugged. "I guess I am"

"Then we'll kill you too!"

"Yeah!" the rest of them cried.

"Don't worry men. At night he is the demon, but during the day he is just a little boy. Let's kill the evil spawn while we can!"

They charged forward. one member of this villager posse snuck-up behind. With a quick knife slice, he managed to make a cut along Naruto's cheek, and then rapidly retreated. Naruto ran his fingers over the cut to see his own crimson red.

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!"

"Rush them while we can!"

"What if they survive and witness against you?" Kishi hissed,

"Not one of them will survive this".

Naruto stood ready to use the demonic force.

"Knock it off! Let me handle them. You have Jiraiya covered, but surely another member of the police will become suspicious."

Kishi jumped in. He ran forward and started a fistfight. Suddenly, he felt a breeze where it shouldn't have been.

'That's strange, I can feel wind on my shoulder'

He looked down and was surprised to see his arm was gone. The severed arm hit the ground, the fingers twitching. Blood pissed out of the open wound. Kishi's face paled.

'This can't be happening.'

He was in shock. With his remaining shaky hand he picked up his arm.

"My arm, my arm, oh shit. My fucking arm!"

Then blood vessels and tissue mass spewed out of his armless shoulder, and the same thing happened to his shoulder-less arm. Without any more pain, as if they had minds of their own, they reattached themselves together like nothing had happened.

"What the fuck!" Kishi yelled. "I mean it's a good thing, but what the hell?"

"What the hell are you? Another demon infesting our village!" the ringleader yelled.

"Heh, these guys will be too easy, I can't believe you couldn't beat them. You are my creator, aren't you?"

"I did not create YOU!"

In a flash Naruto had killed them all.

"Well, what now? You can't possibly eat all of them".

"I've got it covered".

Naruto pulled out a storage scroll and packed away the bodies, then gave Kishimoto a weird look. "What?" Kishi asked nervously

'Maybe this small killing spree wasn't enough to quench his thirst. I'm probably next'

An amused look crossed Naruto's features.

"Kishi-san, it appears you have a unique ability to heal your injuries. Similar to mine, but yours seems more potent. Limbs reattaching themselves, it will likely be the same for broken bones. Even the bruising you got has gone too!"

Kishi looked at the area where he had felt some punches had landed. But there was nothing.

"You know", said Naruto, in a menacing tone. "I've always wanted my own whipping-boy!"

His eyes were crazed and his he wore a twisted grin.

Kishi sighed. 'When Naruto had that look somebody cries, because someone is going to die'.

:Moving house so internet is being cut, last update for a while :(


	4. I'm Here Because

:Hey I managed to update this week... on a friend's comp not sure when I will next....

Kishimoto blindly followed Naruto along, until they went up a flight of stairs. As Naruto pulled out a Pakun keychain, Kishi realised where they were.

Inside, the apartment still looked the same.

Naruto summoned the storage-scroll. The six bodies appeared, lying on the floor. After examining one of them, he sealed it inside a smaller scroll. He labelled it as 'Monday', and placed it inside his refrigerator. Then he done the same thing to the next body naming it 'Tuesday'

"You've got to be kidding! But I guess it will beat going grocery shopping"

"I don't do this that often. It's a delicacy"

Naruto stored five of the body's but when it came to Saturdays it was still alive.

"I don't know how I managed to miss the vitals but, I'll just put him in the chamber"

"The chamber?" Kishi asked as he tilted his head to one side

Naruto revealed a hidden trap door they went down a flight of stairs which was very narrow and steep. Surrounded by darkness, Kishimoto thought he heard moans.

A light was flickered on Naruto took the villager that had survived through a door

"Up you go" there were more moans and they were louder

"Hello there, this is what you get for throwing rocks when I was too young to defend myself but I can defend myself now"

A scream of pain echoed throughout this secret madman's lair Kishi rushed towards the door which Naruto went through. He gasped in astonishment at the sight before him. Villagers mainly the one's from the missing posters were bound to the walls as prisoners.

"Welcome to the party, Kishi-kun!"

"This one gets on my nerves the most"

Naruto pulled out a lovely looking long sharp katana and made a clean slice along the villager's waist.

It had missed. The pathetic villager was still breathing, perspiring, panicked breathing, but as said villager looked down he saw a deep line of blood forming. His face went white then, he watched in utter horror as his liver, kidneys, spleen, bladder, intestines and stomach came out in a wave of blood. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he breathed his final, painful breath.

"Woo hoo! Yeahhh!" Naruto cheered, making the yeah sound like a grunt.

Kishimoto fell to his knees, hyperventilating he began to sweat as his body temperature rose

Naruto shook his head at him. "Man, don't tell me you have a weakness of seeing blood"

"Why are you like this?"

"Well someone decided to make me an orphan, the Kyuubi was put in me resulting in this village hating me. Ever since I can remember people have been after my life. Kyuubi is my only friend he's the one that helped me, his desire is my own. This town is so boring wouldn't you agree" Naruto said as he paced back and forth

"The walls ate dull they need more colour, maybe something that is metallic tasting? Yes I'm going to paint this town, the streets will become very, very colourful" Naruto had a maniacal expression as he thought of the many ways he could paint the town anew.

"You don't have to be like this, you should be a happy boy. Let people see the real you you'll make good friends, better than Kyuubi. He's manipulating you where's the trademark smile I gave you, which you got from your father?"

"I will truly smile like that when I'm standing over your dying corpse!"

Kishi's mouth dropped open

"But alas, I cannot kill you. Even if I wanted to you'll just heal"

Kishimoto went out of the apartment for air leaving Naruto to his *ahem* work… He walked down the street and saw Jiraiya again

"Hello again, have you heard any information about the missing?"

"Once again I see you. No leads so far why do you ask?"

"How about Naruto?"

Jiraiya folded his arms and looked sideways, "We are investing other lines of inquiry. I don't think so, he's a good boy. What are you on about? He's just twelve, what can he do?"

Then Jiraiya leaned closer to Kishi's ear. "I wouldn't penetrate this any further if I were you"

Footsteps were then heard "Sir, there are new posters!"

Kishi looked toward the voice to see Itachi! Who held several posters. It was the group of men which had attacked earlier.

"I really liked that one" Jiraiya said

"A villager you knew?" Itachi asked,

"No. The cat it was really friendly"

The poster was titled dearly loved missing cat of hot springs owner

Jiraiya and Itachi departed.

'Why am I here in this world? After all the things I've seen it must be to change Naruto's ways. What to do… think… Show him love, yes! No wonder he was drinking martini's on the fourth's head it's a sign that he want him to be here he needs a father's love the poor deprived boy!'

"Naruto, I'm a terrible creator, I'm gonna give you a hug!"

Kishi found him a few blocks away talking to Jiraiya he couldn't hear what was being said but Naruto wore a friendly grin while Jiraiya had a paled look.

Kishimoto charged in and wrapped his arms around the boy pulling him towards him

"Huh?"

"There, there. It's ok now" Kishi soothed.

Jiraiya's expression said everything 'Talk fast before you die!'

Kishimoto had pre-planned that he would apologise for the way villagers had treated him and for taking away his parents to give the story more zest and that even though he was this way Naruto was still some form of his character so he could be like a father figure to him.

But, the heat of the situation and rapid thoughts of what he would exactly say were overwhelming so when it came only one mixed, fucked up sentence made it to the verbal zone

"Hey Naruto, I'll be your daddy!"

"What?!"

'That wasn't it. It came out all wrong'

"So you like the young boys? I'll watch out for you when it comes to others but that kid is not to be trifled with" Jiraiya said

Naruto had Kyuubi eyes glaring daggers at Kishimoto.

"I can't get killed right? So my injuries will heal but, this is gonna hurt'

Kyuubi enraged Naruto broke the hold and pummelled Kishi into the ground with a stream of furious punches. Jiraiya set up police barriers to prevent scaring the majority of the village

"Yep nothing to see here, move up the line now" he said to curious passer-bys

Once Naruto had calmed down with the red eyes disappearing, he grabbed Kishi by the collar and pulled him closer giving him a smack in the face. Then with a sly grin he said "I knew you would make a great punching bag"

Naruto leered at Kishi "That beating doesn't do justice cause you heal so how about this?"

Naruto took off his socks and waved them in Kishi's face Kishi held his breath, but a little whiff of the sock scent came to his nostrils. He passed out the stink was too torturous

"Gee, it couldn't have been that bad" Naruto said then he sniffed the offensive object himself "Oh man," he said as he passed out from his own smell of old perspiration. Jiraiya shook his head in disbelief and he left to get away from the overwhelming stench

A brave teenage villager who saw Naruto collapse slowly and cautiously walked up ready to stab Naruto in the heart with an ice pick. Just as the villager leaned over Naruto's eyes opened suddenly

"Hello there. What might this be for?" Naruto asked grabbing the young man's hand forcing him to drop it.

"There's no one around expect for this unconscious guy" he said pointing at Kishimoto, "You dared to kill me in my weakest moment. How about I pay you back?"

"No. Wait please!"

"Hush now, you won't lose your life, what I'll do is break your fingers on this hand of yours that I'm holding. Yes break your fingers one by one by one"

"Enough!" a voice roared the villager and Naruto looked to see that Kishimoto was now awake and he was definitely furious.

Kishi looked at the villager "Get outta here!" the terrified villager took off home to mother.

"Naruto!" he yelled in a stern tone "I may not have any techniques but as your creator I possess a special power at the click of my pen for ink, tones and the swipe of my pencil for background and outline I can kill you off you know!"

"Yeah, Just try it old man!" Naruto yelled

"Whoa, Wooah! Stop it right there!" A new voice shouted. Kishi and Naruto looked to see an old man he had long white hair wrinkled skin of age and tired looking eyes.

"I seem to have arrived just in time. You!" he pointed a finger at Naruto "Don't fight with your creator. And you!" he said to Kishimoto "Don't fight with your character, as you can see he's not all there so don't provoke him"

"Oi" Naruto started

"Yes I am saying that you are fucked in the head" the old man gave Naruto a forehead flick "you other world Naruto"

"Who are you?" Kishimoto asked,

"I am sorry I could not arrive sooner, I had a long walk to get here. I am wise man from a mountain I'm glad to see you made it here safely Kishimoto-san, I summoned you to this realm"

** What's with this old Nutter? Find out in next chap**


End file.
